


Alone

by shouyox



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ??maybe, Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bipolar Disorder, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bulimia, Bullying, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Keith (Voltron), Korean Keith (Voltron), Langst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pansexual Shiro (Voltron), Past Relationship(s), Self-Harm, Sexting, Smut, Snapchat, Stuff, Suicidal Thoughts, Support Group AU, Texting, again;maybe, allura is support mom, but pidge is gay asf too, groupchat, i cant tag well sozo, im sorry, lance makes jokes abt his disorder oop, m aybe, maybe small, past lancelot - Freeform, uhmmm, who knows bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-12-21 10:14:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11941989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shouyox/pseuds/shouyox
Summary: alone.. such a disgusting word, isn't it?





	1. "bulimia nervosa"

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, yes, this is my FIRST klance (kinda just a voltron fic in general but like) fic!! i finished voltron in two days and decided, why the hell not, lets make a depressing ass fic with my favorites! 
> 
> this fic will be cut into journal bits and lance's first person view. also, bold represents journal entries, just so no one gets confused! also!
> 
> I really hope you guys will enjoy this fic!!

**alone.**

**such a disgusting word, isn't it?**

**alone; pointing out that i have no friends**

**okay thats KIND OF a lie.**

**i have hunk and pidge, i know.**

**lemme rephrase this then.**

**alone; pointing out that no people outside the support group thinks i am normal.**

**honestly it usually doesn't bother me that much, but lately everything has been crashing down so fast, i can't comprehend it.**

**and then my mother-my own mother!-made me join this stupid fucking support group.**

**ughhhh.**

**oh yeah, im lance mcclain, this is the dumb journal im being forced to write in everyday,**

**and i suffer from bulimia nervosa.**


	2. day 2; "hunk, my sunshine, you are so precious"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "hello my beautiful sunshine children-"
> 
> "ok but other than hunk, who is a sunshine child?" pidge interrupted.
> 
> "pidge, be quiet please-but i totally agree, the only sunshine child is hunk- anyways! today we have a late member who couldn't make it to the first meeting, so we're doing introductions again!"
> 
> everyone groaned, except shiro who didn't really mind. he was reaaaally dad-ish.
> 
> the dude who was late to the party, was really hot might i add, like holy shit my bi-heart is deceased. except he had a mullet. what year are we in?
> 
> "Pidge first, the just round in a circle." allura smiled, grabbing that, deathly clipboard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO i was gonna wait like a month to post this because i didn't want anyone thinking that this shit will be posted regularly, because it will NOT. but i feel bad because the first chapter is so short and like it made me feel like a troll uhgsdfis
> 
> so, here ya go!! 
> 
> (also TW, if you guys are like not into jokes about illnesses do not read!! lance makes a lot of them about his own illness!! mentions of rape, abuse, and car crashes!!! its only for a sec so no need to be worried)

**yikes, day two of this shit and i already wanna puke up my breakfast.**

**HA.**

**get it, cuz im bulimic?**

**not a good time?**

**i really hope you laugh when you read this, allura,,**

**nOT JOKING.**

**ok, i need to get ready to actually ATTEND your shit support group :))**

**hasta la later bitc h**

I sighed at my own self deprecating joke and packed the journal into the small backpack i prepare for these support groups, it had been a week since the first support group meeting and allura had given everyone the task of writing in this, we had to do at least two days before, well, today. "Lance, time to go!" my mother yells from downstairs.

I quickly walked down the stairs, ignoring the sad glances from my many siblings, "let's go?"

my mother nodded and we jumped into the car, driving to the support group center.

\---

hunk, is one of my only friends, and i love him dearest for being there for me.

"ok but pancakes so win, you can't even deny it, bro." hunk said in all seriousness, watching as people passed us- _we did kinda look homeless, what would you do if you saw two teenagers sitting outside a daycare/help center??_ -waving to the few people he knew.

"ah, that's where you're wrong buddy, waffles are better. i may puke those shits up but they are fucking incredible." hunk quieted at my response, and i knew exactly why.

"hunk, i told you, i joke about it to help myself cope, its all in good fun."  _it wasnt but, i wasnt gonna let him know that_

"i know, it's just, i feel like it's really serious topic for most people, and im just trying to wrap my head around how you can joke about it so freely."

"hunk, my sunshine, you are so precious. i joke about everything, its my  _thing_."

"I know, but-" hunk was rudely interrupted by a loud car door being closed, and of course, it was pidge.

"PIDGE YOU GOD DAMN BITCH, I SWEAR HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, NOT TO SLAM MY BABY." matt yelled, loud enough for hunk and i to hear from a few feet away.

"love you too matt! ill see you afterwards!!" she replied, blowing a cheeky kiss to the older male, making him roll his eyes and drive off.

"you guys don't have to wait for me you know," she teased, plopping down right next to me and smirking, "how's writing in the journal?"

i snorted, "i would show you, but allura would beat my ass straight to her home planet."

"i cant believe you think that a  _beauty_  like her is an alien."

"you're so gay for her, pidge."

"honestly yeah, the fuck"

\---

"hello my beautiful sunshine children-"

"ok but other than hunk, who is a sunshine child?" pidge interrupted.

"pidge, be quiet please- _but i totally agree, the only sunshine child is hunk_ \- anyways! today we have a late member who couldn't make it to the first meeting, so we're doing introductions again!"

everyone groaned, except shiro who didn't really mind. he was reaaaally dad-ish.

the dude who was late to the party, was  _really hot_  might i add, like holy shit my bi-heart is deceased. except he had a mullet. what year are we in?

"Pidge first, the just round in a circle." allura smiled, grabbing that,  _deathly_  clipboard.

"Hello,  _sunshine children_ -" she had to stop and laugh for a good second, "my name is Katie, but you can call me pidge and im bipolar as fuck."

"language!" shiro adds.

"heyo, im hunk and i have social anxiety, but i live for hugs"

the spotlight landed on me and i stood up, kind of fearful of this punk looking dude would judge me but i just mumbled, 'fuck it', "heyy, im your  _hilarious_  bisexual prick, who's name is lance. I suffer from bulimia nervosa, and still rave over waffles, because they are  _so_  much better than pancakes."

the newbie just didnt really react, which kind of confused me? usually everyone who knows gets really uncomfortable.

"nice to meet you newbie, im shiro and i've got PTSD."

"his sensitive topics  are rape, car crashes, and abuse. please refrain from bringing those two topics up, keith."

the supposed 'keith' rolled his eyes and stood up, "im keith, anger issues i guess, oh yeah, shiro is my brother, so i know his sensitive topics, no need to inform me. i really dont want to be here."

"i know right, i could just PUKE." i chuckled.

everybody stared at me as if i was crazy, "guys, you can laugh, i dont mind joking about it."  _yes i do but whatever_

keith glanced at me and then mumbled, "honestly puking sounds like a good idea to me"

I snort and push down the hurt feelings. I have made myself numb to jokes, i used to be bullied for my disorder and shit, and yeah the jokes hurt, but now i just tell the same ones to convince myself that nothing is wrong with me. i know i say im fine with the jokes, but they do sting sometimes, not like i'll admit it.

"Well, okay then. I want you all to write your last entry for this week and then pass in your journals, keith, you will be a week behind, so please write two entries a day- _kinda like you lived two days in one_ -to catch up."

I quickly grab my journal and look at my joke, already feeling the numbness disappear. dammit, i cant let my wall fall at the fucking support group. i shake my head away of thoughts and open a new page, 

**yo,**

**honestly this newbie next to me smells really good and i would highkey fuck.**

**IM CACKLING HE'S GLANCING AT MY JOURNAL FSDUFHSHFSD**

**ok allura im sorry for not being serious in my entries but seriousness is so boring!!!**

**whatevssss,**

**oh yeah you wanted me to list if i had puked today, right?**

**well.**

**I puked.**

**whoops.**

I close the journal and realize im the first one finished. i dont really mind, i just turn it in and watch as she opens it up and frowns, "lance i told you to be fucking serious and today you wrote a bulimia joke."

pidge and hunk glance at me and frown.

"oh c'mon, admit it's pretty fucking good"

_please don't admit it_

_yikes, shut the fuck up lance, your numb._

she turns to the third page and her frown grows before writing some things in it and passing it back.

**yo,**

**honestly this newbie next to me smells really good and i would highkey fuck.**

**IM CACKLING HE'S GLANCING AT MY JOURNAL FSDUFHSHFSD**

**ok allura im sorry for not being serious in my entries but seriousness is so boring!!!**

**whatevssss,**

**oh yeah you wanted me to list if i had puked today, right?**

**well.**

**I puked.**

**whoops.**

_lance,_

_for one, i love you lots but you really gotta quit with the jokes, i know you don't actually like them._

_for two, you just met the guy, calm your hormones, and dont talk about that in your SUPPOSED TO BE SERIOUS JOURNAL._

_and three, does your mom know you puked, or did you lie? see me after this please._

allura is like a sister to me, i've known her a while and groaned out loud when i read the last line, if i was just some stranger would she ask that?

i close the journal and place it back in my bag, watching as everyone else-but keith- got their journals back from the note process. "ok everyone, today we are going to share a few things we like about our selves and some hobbies, just so everyone gets friendly."

everyone nods and pidge stands up, "obviously im fucking beautiful, so theres a thing i like about myself, and my hobbies are technology, i could hack all of your phones and find your nudes."

i snicker and see out of the corner of my eye keith's eyes widening. cute.

"well, i like my fashion sense. and im into cooking!" hunk smiles.

when it gets to my turn i just shrug and say, "well, i dont really- _hah_ -like myself..? why do you think i purge, y'know? but um, im really into dancing.. and i sing a little bit."

the mood kind of drops and allura gives me a sad smile, "maybe one day you could dance and sing for us?"

i shake my head no, "no, sorry. im not comfortable enough with my body for that."

she nods and lets keith go, the mood still sour. "well, i like my mullet? its pretty fucking rad-" i snicker, face palming loudly, "first off, rude. second off, fuck off. anyways, im into bikes and stuff, i ride a motorcycle." 

"cool! and shiro?"

"oh i like my muscles, i worked hard for them, haha. but my hobbies are pretty much teasing pidge's brother and working out."

she nodded and wrote everything down, "ok, thats it for today! lance, please see me after your goodbyes."

i groan and roll my eyes, i really didnt want to talk about me throwing up. "are you in trouble?" hunk said.

I shake my head no and hug him goodbye, while waving to pidge. keith just up and walked away with shiro so i didnt get a chance to say bye to them. allura walked over to me, grabbing my shoulder and squeezing it slightly, "lance, did you tell your mom?"

my eyes start tearing up and i blink them away, shaking my head, "you know you have to tell your mother, lance."

i bite my lip and shake my head once again, "no, it just worries her."

she sighs and hugs me tight, which is her way to let me know it was okay to cry, "i just wish i wasnt such a burden, allura. my whole family worries and looks at me differently now" i choke out, letting tears fall.

"you aren't a burden, love." she whispers, rubbing my back.

"oh, um.. am i interrupting something?" a voice said, causing me to flip around, letting go of allura.

it was the new guy and i just looked away, wiping the tears that were still leaving my eyes, "no, im done here. see you later allura." i whisper, walking out and hiding behind a tree, letting everything out.

i stay there for a bit before i hear the honk that indicates my mother was here. what a fucking shit storm.


	3. Alone is officially: Cancelled.

hello lovelies! I'm sorry for not updating this in a while but the more and more i read what i have done the more i've grown to hate it.

 

this story was not written by the me who writes today.

 

this was written by someone who was hiding and needed a way to cope.

 

i will not be continuing this, im sorry to say.

 

i may rewrite it or make a different support group au (i really have a spot in my heart for bulimic lance) but thats unknown for now.

 

if i do ill be sure to update you here.

 

thank you to everyone who read this.

 

please dont hate me.

 

if you want to talk to me or have any question my tumblr and twitter will be below. i love you guys x

 

 

 

↘my links↙

 

[Tumblr](https://stunningmcclain.tumblr.com)

 

[Twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelymcclain)

 

stay safe lovelies.

 

 


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